teaching my kids (life long memories)

So here I am yet another day taking the kids out of school to have another exciting moment in their small lives.

I have chosen to take them out of school today because McQueen in on tour to promote his new movie. Cars 2! Now to some parents and kids this not a big thing, but to my Chase and Hayden to meet the real deal it is a big event in their lives. Something that they will remember for a while, even it is only for a year it is still the simple pleasures I can give them in life.

Now here is the debate that plays in my mind. There is no issue for Chase as he is in Jk and doing quite well even though it is only 2 hours a day. But then there is Hayden who is still struggling to try and remember the simple things like ABC's. Should I be taking him out of school when he obviously so desperately needs it?

Hayden is stressed out in school and trying desperately to still try and fit in and catch up to the level that the rest of his peers maybe at.

I personally think that my little man suffers from retentions issues and the school is finally pushing it, with only two and half months left of school. YEAH principal. It is only being forced because of the teacher.

So the debate continues about whether it being a good or a bad thing for him to be pulled from school or am I creating a bad habit with him. Meaning will he expect it later?

Here is my small analogy of what I think this may do to Hayden. Yes, he maybe missing out on some very important steps and he may have to struggle a little harder to keep up. (Of, course with momma by his side guiding his way) But if he is already stressed, suffering from low self esteem and anxiety (yes, to the point that he breaks down in class because of his stress level) do you not think that this is actually beneficial to him?

Putting that beautiful smile back on his face, adding excitement where every other day he has a cloud over his head because he is frustrated.


I never really had my mom pull me out of school and do this type of stuff for me. Not that there was a lot to do back then. But I don't think I wanted to stay home either. I am just hoping that I am offering that light for him to shine, be happy and create those childhood memories that I never had.

Just a simple meal everynow and then

SO last night I was pooped, bored and really did not feel like making a big meal.

Why can't I feel that way and just make macaroni with tomatoe soup? The kids like it, I like it, but John hates it. But sometimes it is a nice comfort food. Nothing fancy but definetely yummy. To me and the kids that is.

Every time I go to make this meal. John hates it, goes out and buys a sub or something different for supper.

Last night he once again got the keys and went to the grocery store to make a spaghetti sauce. As he is walking outside I asked him "why can't we just have a poor mans meal?!" He then looks at me and says if I am too tired to cook, just let him know and we will make supper. (yes, that is sweet but not the point)

Instead of arguing I just stay quiet. That is not the point of being too tired, sometimes I just want to eat the damn food! Macaroni mixed with tomatoe soup!!!!!!

I don't get it, since when did we get to appoint in life that your just not happy that some one made you something.  Eat it!!

Bah!

spooky, creepy...insightful! Just one of the MB experiences

Ok! So I did my vent about the whole frusteration of friendship that I went through. And thanks to those who understood and sorry for those I may have offended.

But here is one of the episodes I had during my March Break that really resinates with me.

One of my friends said that they think they have spirits, ghosts whatever is in thier house. I DO believe in this stuff and believe that some can be quite the evil, and others very protective or friendly. She has told me about her children waking through the night at almost the exact time with what seemed to be night terrors.

So one night as I am drifting off to sleep these kids pass through my mind and in my quiet slumber I speak to myself (inside my head of course) who or whatever it is that is bothering the children please let them be and have a peaceful nights sleep.

Not long after, I had a vision of this dark thing hovering over the kids while they were sleeping and it looked in my direction.

I was overwhelmed with an intense feeling of FEAR!!! It was so overwhelming it made my breathing become heavy and I felt like I wanted to scream. So being as I am I thought "open your eyes Denise it is just a dream". So I DID open my eyes, and there I lie with a grip of fear and complete darkness.

Now to get the full understanding of this, in the bedroom where I was sleeping with the two girls there is a large window. And it does not have curtains but a beautiful night view of trees and the light shining from the moon.

So back the what I was going through~

I had opened my eyes, only to find complete darkness I forced myself to focus on the window so I could see the light of the moon, but there was no light from the moon. Nothing just darkness and that awful feeling of fear.

I shut my eyes again, and begged whatever it was to please leave. And at the same time try and calm myself. I opened my eyes and there was the window, the trees and the light from the moon.

Now this gets better!

The next morning I tell my GF of the experience I had that night, and as soon as I told her I knew she must have had the same.

She said that she was lying in bed and had this overwhelming feeling of darkness overcome her. She knew it was something dark so she lied in bed covers brought right up to her and squeezed her eyes shut with FEAR. Because she said that she knew it was not nice and no matter what she asked it to leave and refused to open her eyes, it then too left her.

A few nights later the feeling returned again, it was so overwhelming that I opened my eyes to complete darkness with the urge to scream. Best part is I tried to scream but I felt like I was being smothered....I struggled only to be released and to let out a small wimper. And able to see the trees, the window and the light from the moon again.

So a few nights later we are playing the Kinect on the Xbox and it takes pictures of your actions. There were two pictures in question which we still to this day do not know who was in the background of the picture. The day after the picture was taken I was finally able to sleep with out the feeling of it's presence or it returning.

Although to this day I push the thoughts far from my head in fear that I may call it back to me. And that is not something I want or welcome.

Now you be the judge of what you read! I know what I felt and saw. I have never felt that way before. I do not wish that feeling on anyone.

And this was number two of my March Break adventures ;)

friendships???!!!!

So I have had my license since October with not much driving experience since I got here in Brampton. With the experience I did get it was enough to get my courage up to take the 6 plus hours to drive back home with my kidlets alone. As hubby had to work and like hell I was going to spend my march break in this basement apartment!

So packed up and ready to go we hit the road. We made the ride in record time with out incident other then Theia being sick, which I thought was car sickness, yeah right too good to be true!

We arrived at my girlfriends house as planned with Theia being ill but we thought it was due to the ride. Then only to recieve a call not a few hours later to be informed that there was three feet of water in my basement....sigh!

Soo what am I to do. Take off to the house and visit with another dear friend and try and get things in order as to what I should be doing regarding my basement and try to fit in a visit with my kids and hers.

I then try and get in a visit with my df only to have Theia and Chase spend the whole day and night puking. It was soo bad that I took Theia and Chase to the hospital to make sure all was ok. In the mean time during this March Break I get a visit in with my parents and have plans to have my tire fixed. So here we are visiting as many people as we can get in with Theia basically listless and Chase bouncing off walls. I decide this was not a March Break I intended so I take another week off.

Wow that was worth it, spent the week getting my vehicle fixed and spending some time with some friends that I have not seen since Christmas. Only to have one GF cuss me out and basically come down on me because I did not spend enough time with her....Ummmmmm have you not read how my week went!!!

Friendship to me is something that you love and adore and take with everything that you have. I feel that when you develope a friendship it should be unconditional and I am blessed to have that with a few of my friends are the few I do have are from highschool. They understand that life gets busy or altered.

Take for instance my GF Tammy; she makes a trip down from BC I have every intention to see her and visit with her but it did not pan out. Does she call me awful names NO she understands my life and does not judge me. Then there is Trish who I have EVERY intention of seeing but it never works out. Does she get ticked and proceed to call me names and hang the phone up on me NO, because she can see life some times is hard.

But this one! Wow!!!! I am floored I never expected to be judged or layed blame for not seeing her. It was absolutely manipulative on her part to speak with me in the way that she did and continue to blame me. Um Holy Gosh did you not understand that my kids were sick and that I needed to get my van fisxed or were you so wrapped up in your world that you did not have enough empathy to understand what I was going through. YES!!!!!!! I appreciated all that you did for me while I was away but I did not know that I was OBLIGATED to be by your every side with no comprehension as how I may be feeling with all these kids, the flood and the vehicle.

Ok, now that that vent is over with. I was ever so grateful to my GF that I did stay at and happy that she was as gracous and she was to allow me to do the things I need to do and go where I needed to go to get the things done that I needed to get done.

I am now back in Brampton with my Freyja and her three kittens and it is nice to be back but sad at the same time.

The sun i shining and beautiful and I am in this damn BASEMENT apartment. But I WILL make the best of it for my kids and myself as best as I can!!! Because that is What Denise Does.

Thanks for all who took the time to read my vent,,,,,lol

Off to a better post tomorrow