Ok so here it is, do you ever feel like just freaking out or loosing it on the one that you love, sleep beside and had children with?
I do and did want to sooo bad this morning. LAtely that is all I am hearing about is how tired he is and because of it he is a CRANK in the morning. Yes, I do understand that some times the kids have a way of making it worse especially with the whining and fighting first thing in the morning BUT REALLY!
LAst night at 4am I woke him up to go deal with Chase because he was crying for me but I was not able to go because I was nursing Theia. So he gets up only to find out Chase has wet the bed...sigh. Luckily though he dealt with it calm and was able to send Chase back to bed after changing the sheets and what not.
This I get, it is a disruptive sleep.
Now here is my disruptive sleep. I went to bed at 9:30 was not able to fall to sleep until after ten because of the running around the upstairs people were doing.
11:08 I am woken by Theia, brought her in to bed, nursed her for about 20 minutes and then back to bed she went.
Close to 2am she wakes up again. Bringing her into bed, nurse her and choose not to bring her back to her bed because I am too damn tired.
4am nurse again, disrupted continually by her sleeping because she has now developed the cold that Hayden has...sigh.
6:08 Theia wakes up...nurse her again because I am tooo damn tired to get out bed so I prolong it with a cuddle and a nursing.
6:13 Daddy gets out of bed, turns on tv and has a nice quiet shower. Comes into the room and complains about how tired he is, lack of sleep and grumpy he is. As he is barking at me!
Meanwhile I am lucky if I get a shower a DAY, and in peace for that matter. A full nights sleep is a no no for me and sleeping in for that matter. I am lucky if I can catch a cat nap in the afternoon for 30 minutes before I ahve to go get Hayden from school. The list is ending.
But yet, every morning no word of a lie I get up feeling happy, exhausted to the point of tears. But happy...and as the morning progress that is to be determined if it will continue to be happy. But I try!
7 years of no sleep and I still wake up happy...I may not say "Goodmorning" as John likes it, but I always have a smile, a snuggle and soft spoken voice with coffee in hand. (Ok I know anyone who knows me does not beleive the soft spoken voice, but it is sweet and happy and full of life)
Why can't some I say SOME men be the same. If only they went through what I have been through in 7 years regarding sleep dep maybe then he would think twice about complaining bout getting up once in the night and early in the morning. (I am sick of hearing all I want to do is to be able to sleep in one morning) Sigh!!! And I am the one who is taking the Anti-Depressants. I think it he should be concidering it too and damn start taking those vitamins I am trying to shove down your THROAT!!!
It just might, just might improve your moods....lol
And so now my day begins only to realise my poor little Theia is also cutting a tooth. And EVERYONE has the cold! So on with my day now as everyone is home again because of this cold and I REFUSE to send them to school only to get everyone else sick and for them to feel miserable!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Routine! Really??!!!
Wow what a few couple of days it has been. My mind wonders all the time, so much to talk about, write about and never enough time to actually sit and do all. Although sometimes it is just plain laziness.
I always get these amazing ideas to do with my kids, fun, creative, something that would definitely alleviate the fighting and incesive whining. Yet I always revert back to the yelling, screaming, putting on movies and some interaction because I am just too damn tired to get the energy to be creative.
So to kill this slag, lack of energy and negative responses I have been in search of a template schedule to create for myself and my kids to make sure that there are many good and positive structure in the house. Even that sometimes is Ugggg. But I will conquer these blahs I have and make it all the more better for me and my kidlets.
That is one of my big things to do.
Hayden just received his report card yesterday...sigh! I feel for the poor guy, his first grade one report card and most of it is C and D's. Mostly due to him lacking confidence in himself to be able to complete his tasks and learn how to read. I practise with him every day and notice as I watch his lips to form the word then he suddenly shakes his head in doubt thinking that his response is wrong. I get so excited for him and express it when I see him go to say it correctly then he backs away and thinks again it is incorrect. I wish I could break this cycle for him. But he himself needs to understand he is smart, no matter how many times I say it...it is within him he feels less competent.
This is why I NEED to create a schedule and follow it, to be able to fit in time for him while the others are occupied, so he can focus and get the attention he needs to excel in his work. That is hard to do in a small apartment with 4 extremely active children!
It is funny how when your child fails, you feel like a failure. Because as I see it, I am his teacher of life, skills, creativity and all those other wonderful things and want nothing more then to see my children strive and excel in life. All of them do in so many ways....just hate to see them struggle!
Being a stay at home mom is beautiful and soo rewarding but so damn hard at the same time....lol. It is very easy to get into a slump, lack routine.
I am definitely not my mother. When I speak with her and about staying home she talks about not going to bed till 1am because she had to make sure the house was clean and ready for the next day. I am SOOOO not like that. My house is CLEAN but my kitchen still sits in disaster with dishes from last nights supper not done. Why Because I HATE cleaning the kitchen. Ask me to do anything else but that. I am always baking and cleaning as I go but by the end of the night after washing dishes all day long. Like hell I want to do the last bit of supper crap.
And you know the funny part, there is nothing that erks me more then waking up to a dirty kitchen. It totally sets my day in a bad direction. Working around clutter, having to wash bowls for cereal....uggg. John has been pretty good lately about cleaning the dishes so I guess I have come to expect him to finish them up. Guess what he didn't do them last night. So we are two people who don't really run on ROUTINE all the time. This is pain and a stumble we must over come. I do run on routine for the most part. But I never know if today I am going to get dressed or just stay in my jammies and go about my day. ROUTINE...it sucks but it doesn't at the same time.
So if any one has a sample of a schedule they do while daycaring or being a SAHM and feel like they would like to share. I would love to see it.
And so the day now begins as I go and try to finish the kitchen and have full intentions of playing and being creative with my kids. Daddy's birthday is in 2 days and Hayden has a project due on February 14th. Let's do it now so he does not become a procrastinator like his mother and father.,...lol
I always get these amazing ideas to do with my kids, fun, creative, something that would definitely alleviate the fighting and incesive whining. Yet I always revert back to the yelling, screaming, putting on movies and some interaction because I am just too damn tired to get the energy to be creative.
So to kill this slag, lack of energy and negative responses I have been in search of a template schedule to create for myself and my kids to make sure that there are many good and positive structure in the house. Even that sometimes is Ugggg. But I will conquer these blahs I have and make it all the more better for me and my kidlets.
That is one of my big things to do.
Hayden just received his report card yesterday...sigh! I feel for the poor guy, his first grade one report card and most of it is C and D's. Mostly due to him lacking confidence in himself to be able to complete his tasks and learn how to read. I practise with him every day and notice as I watch his lips to form the word then he suddenly shakes his head in doubt thinking that his response is wrong. I get so excited for him and express it when I see him go to say it correctly then he backs away and thinks again it is incorrect. I wish I could break this cycle for him. But he himself needs to understand he is smart, no matter how many times I say it...it is within him he feels less competent.
This is why I NEED to create a schedule and follow it, to be able to fit in time for him while the others are occupied, so he can focus and get the attention he needs to excel in his work. That is hard to do in a small apartment with 4 extremely active children!
It is funny how when your child fails, you feel like a failure. Because as I see it, I am his teacher of life, skills, creativity and all those other wonderful things and want nothing more then to see my children strive and excel in life. All of them do in so many ways....just hate to see them struggle!
Being a stay at home mom is beautiful and soo rewarding but so damn hard at the same time....lol. It is very easy to get into a slump, lack routine.
I am definitely not my mother. When I speak with her and about staying home she talks about not going to bed till 1am because she had to make sure the house was clean and ready for the next day. I am SOOOO not like that. My house is CLEAN but my kitchen still sits in disaster with dishes from last nights supper not done. Why Because I HATE cleaning the kitchen. Ask me to do anything else but that. I am always baking and cleaning as I go but by the end of the night after washing dishes all day long. Like hell I want to do the last bit of supper crap.
And you know the funny part, there is nothing that erks me more then waking up to a dirty kitchen. It totally sets my day in a bad direction. Working around clutter, having to wash bowls for cereal....uggg. John has been pretty good lately about cleaning the dishes so I guess I have come to expect him to finish them up. Guess what he didn't do them last night. So we are two people who don't really run on ROUTINE all the time. This is pain and a stumble we must over come. I do run on routine for the most part. But I never know if today I am going to get dressed or just stay in my jammies and go about my day. ROUTINE...it sucks but it doesn't at the same time.
So if any one has a sample of a schedule they do while daycaring or being a SAHM and feel like they would like to share. I would love to see it.
And so the day now begins as I go and try to finish the kitchen and have full intentions of playing and being creative with my kids. Daddy's birthday is in 2 days and Hayden has a project due on February 14th. Let's do it now so he does not become a procrastinator like his mother and father.,...lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)