Happy New Year, a proper beginning!

Ok so here we are January 14th, 2011. I have not blogged since November...life got busy...lol

So here I am in a new year, I walked or slept my way into with no big hoopla, party or new years resolution ahead. I woke up that morning wished all my loved ones a happy new year and went about my day.

THAT was probably the best thing I have ever done for myself. I had a small discussion with John about the changes that I want to make..not neccessarily for the new year but just for myself. More patience for my children, be kinder to myself and show and feel more of what I feel inside.

I am back in this small little apartment with all my kids and that is ok. When I first came back I was overwhelmed because I was missing my home in CB and all the beautiful light that came through each and every window we choose for our home. But that is ok, another hump to survive.

I have taken time for ME, this is something I think I missed out since being a mom to five. IT feels good and renews what was missing inside. My light shines I have gotten back into things that interest me 1) being Reiki 2) following a path that makes me feel alive and centered (Pagan) as sense of belonging!

I know now to accept me, and I take the negative things people say and choose what I want to do with it (which more now then ever is the attitude of WHATEVER,) but in a kind way...lol. We all have things in our lives that are not accepted by all and that is ok! And actually is healthy, why? Because that is who we are INDIVIDUALS!

I have started Meditating, or at least trying to achieve the goal of it, I excersise...something that was not on my list of things to do....trust me! But I feel good, positive. PLEASE don't get me wrong I am not this oh so sunshine person, I crab get cranky, fight, yell and cry still. And if I did not do that I don't think I would be me, or I would be but a very highly medicated me...lol

My kids drive me INSANE, but that is what being a mom is about. I find the light through their eyes and laughter...I play more and act sillier then I ever have....listen more. I like the New me and the old one!! The one that has old views and understandings...the one that has found a younger happier me. I am learning to let go of all that crap that I have held on to. But if it did not happen I would not be me!

See this is about ME!!! And if I did not make something about me, how could I be me for those that are in my life, that I surround myself with and love with.

So here we are in January 2011 with a great feeling about where I am heading....at least I hope anyways. I know that I am definetely going to have those "are you kidding me this is my life" days. But if I didn't then what is the point of living? Right?

Well, that is my blog for today or at this moment at least. Chase is unzipping my pockets and trying to climb on me. Theia is walking around and needing some of her mommy. Hayden is begging Chase to play with him and Autumn is sleeping.  As I take a moment to stop and lecture Hayden about bossing...lol this the activity that surrounds me right now...so I need to go make them a snack and find some source of entertainment for them as it is a PD day. And they are quite off today. I wonder if they could meditate and redirect their energy. I think not...lol as we did name Chase, Chase and he fits the name to a tee!!!!

Cheers
D